


Breaking Point

by nathaniel_hp



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abortion, Bondage, Community: smut_fest, Dark, F/M, Intersexuality, Medical Kink, Transgender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-25
Updated: 2013-04-25
Packaged: 2017-12-11 13:14:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/799129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nathaniel_hp/pseuds/nathaniel_hp
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cara is done being broken. It's time to do the breaking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Narroch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narroch/gifts).



> **Warnings:** abortion, allusions to corrective/normative genital surgery
> 
>  
> 
> My heartfelt thank-yous to catsintheattic for her enthusiasm and inspiration, to another cleo for the speedy beta at such short notice and to vaysh11 for her thoughtful and thought-provoking comments on this story. This story would not be what it is if it hadn't been for you guys. Thank you.

Cara looked out of her bedroom window. The world had become colourless. Her memories of the changing seasons were fading. Already, the different shades of green that spring and summer brought were becoming indistinct in Cara's mind. The ever bare trees had become constant and never-changing companions to her. Nothing but the sturdiest plants survived, moss and lichens in indistinct brownish-grey colours. Not much grew any more. Leif was doing a good thing -- she had always told herself that. In the end, they all -- humankind -- would benefit from his research. In the end, they would survive because he would find out what had caused the barrenness and he would find a way to make them prosper again.

Absentmindedly, Cara stroked her flat belly and watched her slim, boyish form reflect in the window, a perfect addition to the bare trunks outside. She couldn't help but feel betrayed that none of Leif's research would ever be of benefit to her. For her, as for so many others, it was too late. Cara felt the familiar anger rise. It was directed at her parents, at Leif, although they only wanted the best for her. She understood that, but she didn't feel it. She was better at hiding her anger now but at times she still lashed out at those who thought they knew what was best for her. None of them had any idea what it was like to be cut into shape. To lose part of herself only to fit the mould. Cara may normal but she wasn't functioning.

~*~

Cara walked down the corridor. Her heels clicked loudly on the concrete floor and echoed along the bare passageway. The guard had given her a small nod before he deliberately turned his back. For a while, after she'd started coming down here at night, Cara had taken off her shoes as she hurried along the corridor to the cell. Not anymore. No one was down here because no one was allowed to be. Peter saw to that.

As usual, Peter had conveniently forgotten the key on the desk, and Cara opened the door to find Kayi on the bed. She slipped in and left the door ajar -- she couldn't bear the confined space of the cell. Unlike Kayi who didn't mind being locked in at all, or rather he didn't mind the money he'd be paid if he saw the experiment through until the end, enough money to live comfortably for a couple of years, he'd told her. Right now, he was sleeping like a baby, sheets rumpled at the foot of the bed, the sliver of light from the corridor illuminating his naked body.

Cara tiptoed over to the bed and slowly lowered herself to sit next to him. He didn't stir. As Cara started to stroke his hair out of his face, a slight smile played on his lips. Cara caressed his cheeks, his neck, her fingers ghosted over his chest, avoiding the two long scars that almost divided his upper body in two. Cara watched Kayi's face, so relaxed and peaceful, as her hand moved further down, over the rounded belly, and cupped Kayi's genitals.

Kayi stirred, leaning into her touch. He loved being touched. Loved it when she played with his dick -- he insisted on her calling it dick or penis. "What time is it?" he asked sleepily.

"Just after two. We have a couple of hours."

"Good." Kayi sat up and Cara crawled toward him, lifted her skirt and lowered herself onto his lap. Kayi moaned as he grabbed her bare buttocks, drawing her toward him. Through the fabric of her bunched-up skirt, Cara could feel the hard curve of Kayi's belly. It was the reason Kayi was here. The test subjects had always fascinated her, ever since she found out about the exact nature of her husband's research, but Kayi was special.

He was strange. Small and boyish. A faint stubble visible on his face that didn't quite match his delicate features. Yet he was beautiful in his own way. Fascinating. And familiar.

Cara's fingers travelled down Kayi's chest when she heard footsteps approaching. It wasn't Peter. His steps were slow and calm and slightly uneven. Leif had told her that Peter used to be a soldier but had been injured during the defence of the city against the refugees. Peter might not be able to run very fast but he'd be able to protect her, Leif had said. Well, he wasn't protecting her now because he had let someone through to Kayi's cell. Cara jumped off the bed and smoothed down her skirt.

"I have to go," she said firmly. Kayi's frustrated groan followed her as she slipped out into the corridor and moved toward the door at the other end, away from the approaching footsteps. She tried the handle and found it unlocked. Cara slipped inside and leaned against the door. She could hear muffled voices. Were Leif and Peter arguing? Was that Kayi's voice? It was impossible to follow the conversation through the thick door. Very slowly, Cara opened the door again, just a crack. The voices were still quiet but the empty corridor carried them well.

"But sir, the subject will be asleep now," Peter said.

"I'm aware of that, Peter. Am I the doctor or are you?" Her husband's voice was calm but Cara could hear the annoyance underneath.

"Very well, sir." Peter's limping footsteps retreated to the guard's desk.

Cara heard a short knock. If Leif was surprised to find the door unlocked, he gave no sign. "Kayi?" he asked.

"I'm awake, doctor," came the reply.

"So, I see. We are alone, no need for the doctor."

"All right. What brings you here in the middle of the night, Leif?"

"I had to see you. There's always someone around during the day. I know you and the child are healthy, but how are you feeling? Do you have everything you need?"

"I'm fine. I'm taking good care of your baby."

_His baby?_ Cara slipped through the door and was making toward the cell when Leif replied.

"Our baby."

Cara stopped dead.

"Don't be silly, Leif."

"But Kayi ..."

The rest of the conversation was drowned out in a furious rushing that built in Cara's head, and she slid down the wall, balling her hands into fists. She was dimly aware of the irony that both she and Leif had taken an interest in Kayi. A tiny, silly part of her saw visions of a happy family: her, Leif, Kayi and the baby. But mostly, a hot fury was blazing through her, unlike anything she'd felt in years.

Not since she married Leif. She had thought him detached and naive in his attempts to reverse the effects of the barren age, as her mother had so poetically called their times. He always prided himself on his rational, scientific approach while the rest of the world was in a panic. Before long humans would die out because there simply weren't enough children, and even fewer healthy ones who reached adulthood.

She'd never expected him to get so personally involved. She understood that he had needs. She knew how much he wanted a child of his own. And she would have been willing to make compromises for both their sakes. But he never even alluded to this. And why Kayi of all people? He'd lied to her, deceived her. Everyone always lied to her. Cara wondered about all the other pregnant women she'd met down here over the years. She felt the bile rise up her throat. She needed air. Perhaps if she went back inside the room, she'd find another exit at the far end.

The room was more like a large hall, illuminated only by emergency lights along the walls, none of which indicated an exit of any sort. To her left were two rows of long tables full of microscopes and centrifuges and other strange instruments; to her right several examination booths separated by curtains. The metal stirrups of the examination chair closest to her glinted faintly. Involuntarily she stepped back, pressing her back into the door. She felt like her four-year-old self again, although she barely remembered. Dragged to the doctor by her parents. Poked and prodded as she lay exposed. Her father turning away while her mother looked on with tears in her eyes. Cara remembered the cold metal of the stirrups against her calves. Later, there was dull pain through a haze, then numbness. A vivid spot of red seeping through the bandages as the nurse drew back her covers. No, Cara told herself, that was another life, another person.

The pin board full of photos caught her attention. Cara moved past the lab tables and stared at the collage. There was Marissa, the first test subject she'd ever spoken to, the first test subject ever to tell her her name. The photo had been taken just before she disappeared. Marissa was naked, her hand resting protectively on her large belly. Cara remembered the feeling of that belly, how the baby had stirred beneath her fingers. Her first instinct had been to pull back, so strange was the feeling, but Marissa had covered her hand with her own and together they felt the baby seek contact with the outside world. That had been the last time Cara had seen her. Her cell had been unlocked and empty when she'd returned the next morning. Leif had found her sitting on the bed and led her back up to her room.

Cara had promised herself to never return down here, to stop getting involved. Then she'd heard talk about the strange creature, the freak as the guards called the test subject, and she had to see for herself. Cara looked at the familiar faces in front of her. Her fingers followed the thin red lines that crossed out each test subject. All except Kayi.

Cara walked over to the examination chair and put a hesitant hand onto the stirrup, finding soft padding instead of cold metal. Leif had told her that her parents should have waited with the surgery. That he would have married her no matter what and that he would have found a way to preserve her _reproductive function_ \-- that's how he'd phrased it, always the scientist. Cara imagined Kayi in the chair, legs spread as Leif examined him. She saw Kayi's passive look, which spoke only of the money that the experiment would bring him. Then she imagined herself in Leif's place and what she'd do to Kayi. Perhaps she was as naïve as her husband but Kayi was so sincere, so natural in his responses to her. She imagined his moans of pleasure, felt a thrill of excitement. What if she could have Kayi when her husband couldn't?

~*~

"What are we doing here?" Kayi looked around the hall, then noticed the candles in one of the examination booths. "Oh. Strange place for a romantic evening, don't you think?"

"It'll be perfect, you'll see." Cara smiled and guided Kayi over to the examination chair. "Up with you."

"Didn't take you for a kinky one, but hey, whatever floats your boat, right?" He grinned and sat gingerly on the edge of the seat.

"Right." Cara grinned. She grabbed his knees and guided Kayi's legs into the stirrups. "Lie back and relax," she whispered. "Close your eyes." She slipped the restraining belts around Kayi's calves, fixing them to the chair.

"Definitely a kinky one. You surprise me, Cara. In a good way," he said, as he settled into the chair with a sigh. "Now, I'll get a hard-on every time the doctor examines me."

Cara stepped in between Kayi's legs and gave both his nipples a light tug.

"You know I can't feel that."

"I know, but they still react."

Kayi looked down at his chest. "They do, silly things. Whatever you have in mind, don't stop now!"

"Don't worry, I'll see this through till the end."

"Can't wait." Kayi pulled Cara close and kissed her. Cara indulged him for a while before she pulled away. She took the manacles from the tray. Dangling them in front of Kayi's face, she said, "Arms behind the back. Can't have you fidgeting too much. I want you to be able to concentrate on your pleasure."

Cara let her hand trail over Kayi's body as she moved back between his legs. Her fingers trailed lightly along the insides of his thighs, stopping before they reached their destination. Kayi sighed and let her repeat the motion a couple of times before he pushed up his hips in frustration.

"Ah, ah, patience, lovely," Cara chided as she pressed him back into the chair. "You'll get everything you crave and then some." She was pleased to see the wetness glistening in Kayi's folds even as his dick started to poke out. It still astounded her how much it grew when he was aroused.

Cara pulled up a chair. Her tongue darted out and gave Kayi's dick a quick lick before she blew lightly on it. Kayi moaned and thrust his hips up again. Cara grabbed two belts and tied them across Kayi's hips and chest. His frustrated groan was replaced by a contented sigh the second her attention was back on his dick. It didn't take more than a couple of licks and nips and Kayi shuddered in his restraints.

"Fuck, Cara, that was - Fuck!" Cara's index and middle finger slipped easily into Kayi's body. "Oh, yeah," he moaned as Cara thrust in and out while her thumb circled his dick. "Yes," he hissed and was reduced to inarticulate moans when Cara sped up.

Kayi was a writhing, moaning mess when Cara took the speculum and opened him wide. For once she was grateful for Leif's medical talk at dinnertime as she grabbed the thin rod -- the dilator, she heard Leif's voice -- and slowly pushed it in. She hadn't been sure if it would work, but Kayi responded with such abandon that her worries dissolved immediately. Sucking on Kayi's swollen member and bringing him to the brink of another orgasm, she slowly extracted the dilator and replaced it with the curette. She rammed it home and sucked hard. Kayi's body stiffened, though if in pleasure or pain Cara couldn't tell.

Cara loosened the bonds. Kayi said in an oddly quiet voice, "I think we've overdone it. I'm hurting."

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine. Let's get you to bed now." She helped Kayi stand and together they made their way back to the cell. Kayi was bent over in pain and Cara could see a trickle of blood running down his thigh.

"What have you done to me, Cara?" Kayi asked, his eyes wide and fearful.

"Everything will be fine," Cara said again.

She helped Kayi into bed, briefly considered wiping off the blood, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. She covered Kayi. He was moaning as the cramps shook his body. Cara slipped a small pill between his lips. "Something for the pain, lovely," she whispered.

"Thank you," came the faint reply.

Before she left, Cara turned to see the red stain spreading on Kayi's white bed sheet.

~*~

As she walked past Peter, she said, "Oh, Peter, I think something's wrong with Kayi. Someone had better check."

"Of course, Mrs Dunheim. I'll call one of the nurses right away. The test subjects are lucky to have you."

Cara smiled, lowering her eyes that she was sure would betray her. "It's the least I can do," she answered demurely.

She walked out onto the grounds towards the dead trees and breathed in the fresh, clean air. People told Cara that she wasn't broken, that it wasn't her fault the surgery had gone wrong. Cara knew that none of this was her fault, but she also knew that, no matter what everyone tried to tell her, she _was_ broken, had been as long as she could remember. Breaking others wouldn't change anything, but it made her forget. 


End file.
